NEW YORK CITY – The travel magazine, Destination Awesome, has released its list of the top five 2015 Spring Break destinations. The list was gathered by Travelers Digest editors using travel data, hotel sales numbers and social media posts.
All but one of the top five destinations are new to this year’s list, which was surprising to Destination Awesome magazine editor Herbbie Snilp.
“There were some surprises this year. We typically see the same Florida or California beach cities but this year people seem to be going a different route. Maybe they are afraid of anti-vaxers or something,” said Snilp. “The big surprise this year is seeing Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon come in as the number one vacation spot. The internet chatter around the place is insane. I think a lot of buzz around Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon stems from the success of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ I think a lot of homely, white, middle-aged women want to get beat up by an attractive billionaire and for some reason think they will find that at Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon. Boy are they going to be surprised! They also aren’t going to be able to walk for a week afterwards. Trust me on that.”
Here are the top five 2015 Sprint Break destinations according to Destination Awesome magazine:
Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon, Santa Monica, CA
A one-stop-shop for all your BDSM needs, Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon will kick the shit out of you (literally) and leave you begging for more (literally). Nestled in a back alley between a pawn shop and a liquor store, Lord Torment-Her’s Pleasure Dungeon is booked solid for the next six months. Savvy travelers can hook up with others to get more bang fit your buck and get an even more intense experience. According to Snilp, the $50 for the carnuba wax treatment is a “can’t miss.” It’ll leave your skin feel young and rejuvenated while your pride feels humiliated and scared.
This destination owes its place on the list thanks to the popularity of the Disney movie “Frozen.” Everyone loves that movie and travelers can go to the land of Frozen and experience everything that is featured in the movie. There’s always plenty of snow so there is plenty of opportunity to build snowmen. There are plenty of blonde people and even more reindeer. And more snow. Rognan has everything that Frozen fans love. The only experience that cannot be had in Rognan during Spring Break is a visit to the trolls. Everyone knows that trolls hibernate till the summer.
The only holdover from last year’s list, Funky Town is Funky Town, the funkiest town in the world. Dance the nights away in one of the 49 dance clubs the town offers. If you are not in to dancing you might have a problem because that’s all there is to do in Funky Town. In the past several years there have been major problems with drugs, particularly cocaine, but Funky Town mayor Groove McSwinger has assured that Funky Town police are cracking down on drugs. So party on, Spring Breakers!
Adrift in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean
This is one destination that has been climbing up the list for the past several years, coming in as number seven last year. Being adrift in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean is an experience that you just have to try for yourself, because every experience is different. Will you get rescued by a passing Russian fishing vessel? Will you reach a deserted island where you’ll have you learn how to survive off the land? You never know. The only thing you do know is that your trip will be completely unique.
“The hidden gem of the U.S.” Mitchell, SD is a blank slate allowing Spring Breakers to craft their own perfect vacation. Perfect for the Spring Breakers who don’t enjoy having fun, Mitchell does have one liquor store and seven gun stores. Book early because the cities one motel is fully booked most of the weeks for various meetings or rallies of different clans, but if you can get in, you’ll have the time of your life sitting alone looking out the window wishing you had gone somewhere else or wishing that you had friends.