Eight Star Wars Rumors that are Probably True

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ANAHEIM, CA – Star Wars fans across the world are gathering this month in Anaheim as part of Star Wars Celebration and one of the things that will be on the top of everyone’s mind is the upcoming seventh installment of the franchise, Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Since the film was announced the internet has been abuzz with rumors and speculation about the plot, characters and casting of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Every leaked detail, true or false, has been securitized and debated by legions of Star Wars fans.

The Scoop News has gathered a number of Star Wars experts and identified eight The Force Awakens rumors that are likely to be probably true.

1. The film will not star either Corey Haim or Corey Feldman
“In the early stages of filming, rumors were running rampant that one or both of the legendary Cory’s were going to make an appearance,” said Star Wars fan and blogger Mitchel Frantz. “Much of the speculation revolved around (Haim) being the son of Luke Skywalker, making him the lead of film while (Feldman) played the films villain. While this would be amazingly cool, you have to look at the fact that Cory Haim is dead. While I don’t doubt the ability for Industrial Lights and Magic to be able to digitally put him into the movie, I don’t think they could digitize a career for Feldman at this point.”

2. The films villain will murder Elsa’s mother and father, setting into motion the events of the movie ‘Frozen’
“Seeing as Disney owns Star Wars, this is a no brainer. Having a Frozen tie in will attract the coveted ‘young girl’ demographic that the other Star Wars movies have failed to draw,” said TheForceIsInMeAndItFeelsGood.com blogger Jared Brent. “This also will undoubtedly set up the Frozen sequel that was officially announced in February.”

3. R2D2 will be equipped with 12 different types of lens flares
“If there is one thing that director J.J. Abrams is known for, it’s his propensity for using lens flares,” Frantz said. “What better explanation for them in The Force Awakens than to have the loveable R2-D2 produce them all? This will get the haters all up in arms, but at least all of the flares will be centered around one character and not just haphazardly thrown in every three seconds.”

4. There will be a 35 minute explicit sex scene between two main characters and at least one Wookie “The success of the Star Wars porn parody and to a lesser extent ‘50 Shades of Grey’ proved that there is a market for explicit sex scenes in the Star Wars universe and feature films in general,” said StarWarsBoner.com editor Josh Derps. “Who doesn’t want to see a four-way with a Storm Trooper, Jedi, ewok and Hutt? I have 700,000 pages of fanfiction that I am willing to sell Lucas Film to help meet this need.”

5. The film will feature a city being destroyed by either a ship, alien bad guys, giant robots, a super weapon, or the Hulk
“Much like the inclusion of the characters from Frozen, this is also a no brainer,” Frantz said. “Cities need to be destroyed, otherwise the audience will not be able to grasp the magnitude of the situation. Seriously, how am I supposed to feel any sense of urgency if I’m not constantly seeing millions of innocent people meet their doom?”

6. One of the stars of the film, John Boyega, will be revealed to be of African decent
“As has been a recent trend in Hollywood, once a young actor hits the big time, their life will be under the microscope. Thus far, Boyega has sailed under the media radar, but once people look into his personal life, revelations will start to come out rapid fire,” said Brent. “While he has been rather mum on the subject, it has been widely speculated that Boyega’s ancestors are directly descended from African peoples. This may be used as a plot point in the film.”

7. At least seven characters will have a limb severed throughout the course of the film
“Carrying on the tradition started by George Lucas, the main source of violence in the movie will be the removal of limbs,” Derps said. “In the original and prequel trilogies, 432 characters lose an appendage. Abrams, making a nod to those that came before him, will continue the tradition. Characters that are most likely to lose limbs are Luke Skywalker, Alf, Han Solo, Princess Leia, the Xenomorph, Cousin Dean and Rick Allen.”

8. J.J. Abrahams will continually lie about the true identity of one of the characters
Despite the fact that he was photographed on set and was even hurt on the Millennium Falcon set, Abrams has continuously denied that Harrison Ford is reprising his role of Han Solo.
“Harrison is indeed in the movie but he’s not playing Han, he’s playing a whole new character named John Harrison,” Abrams has gone on record saying. “No, in no way is he Han Solo.”

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