Man Proves Intelligence by Hating Star Wars

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Local man proves that he is intelligent by disliking the popular Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

AUSTIN, TX – Occasional film viewer Kevin Mothma has proved his intelligence and sophistication by disliking the new film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

“(Star Wars) The Force Awakens is shallow,” said Mothma. “The story is so pedestrian. There was nothing there. Just a bunch of loosely tied together action scenes. And the main girl in the movie, whatever her name is, was such a Mary Sue. Since you probably don’t know what that is I’ll tell you. A Mary Sue is a character that is really good at everything with no real reason to be so. In the movie she can fix everything and is a super skilled fighter and never once makes a mistake. Nothing about that movie made any logical sense. If people would just turn on their nostalgia riddled brains for a second they would see that I am correct and then we would all realize that the movie is dumb – and I’m correct. But let me tell you other reasons why the movie isn’t as good as everyone else thinks it is…”

According to Mothma, he has struggled in the past to set himself apart intellectually from his friends but is confident his dislike of the new Star Wars film will work.

“My friends don’t really understand how smart I am,” said Mothma. “I am always trying to show them how good I think about things but they are often too caught up in some pop culture mania that is designed and delivered so that it’s easily digestible. The entertainment industry is just regurgitating the same formulas into our agape mouths over and over like a mother bird to her chicks. The only film makers that are doing something different are these guys from El Savador, you’ve probably never heard of them. They film only using Super 8 camera and they limit all dialog in the film to five words. Amazing stuff. Do you want to know what I think about the Hunger Games films?”

Mothma, who admits that he is not a fan of the previous Star Wars films, has told friends and family why he did not like the movie and he has detailed his thoughts about the film on his blog.

“That guy. Man. You ever been to a party and a guy comes up to you and just starts talking about why cool things aren’t cool? And the second they leave you all make fun of that guy? That guy is (Mothma),” said Mothma’s old roommate Kelly Yaddle. “He thinks that disliking something that everyone likes gives him some kind of power. What he doesn’t understand is that he’s a dick, he will always be a dick, and only dicks tell their friends that something that is, in fact, fun and enjoyable is actually dumb. (Mothma) is a dick.”

By dissecting the movie in an intellectual way, Mothma says his complaints “come from a higher level” compared to others who have seen the film.

“The whole premise of the movie has been done so many times,” Mothma said. “I mean if you look at it, and I mean really dissect it like I have, you’ll see the exact same plot in about a hundred different films. You got Junior. You got When Harry Met Sally. You got Ishtar. You got The Lego Movie. They are all the same movie, just with different characters. Don’t believe me? Go watch them all again now that you know that. And don’t even get me started on why Titanic is the same as Straight Outta Compton.”

Mothma friends are sick of hearing about Mothma thoughts on Star Wars and many have stopped discussing the film in Mothma presence.

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