This Summer's Hottest Fashion Trends

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Summer is here and with it brand new fashion. As we head to the beach, the camp site, the underground sex dungeon, we’ll need to know what’s in and what’s out. The Scoop News has interviewed several prominent fashion designers to get the details for what will be hot this summer.

Sheryl Stredieo, owner of Fasto Festisio clothing – “This summer is all about hot, literally. The entire state of California will be on fire so flame retardant clothing is a must. And fire proof blankets will compliment just about any outfit so make sure you have one draped around you, casually of course, at all times.”

D’esmmy D’umass, design at Shu Shy Shu Shu – “Velcro straps. And just velcro straps. You’ll be seeing velcro straps everywhere but only if you are looking in the right place. You get me? I just put together an outfit composed of a single velcro strap that goes across the left nipple and it’s dynamite. Everyone will be in to it. Unless they are not and if they are not you don’t want to be in them. You get me? Um Hmmm.”

Stel Freinst, Vagdu model – “Bathing suits are always an import part of summer fashion and this year 8-piece suits are all the rage, darling. They can be a little cumbersome to put together and they only come in very small sizes so you’ll need some patience and a lot denial. The eight pieces work together to cover the nipples and the vagina but they still leave a lot of skin so make sure your tan is even. Also, you’ll want to shave around your butt hole because none of the swim suit pieces cover your butt hole. I’m not real sure why but the fashion editor that made me wear one for him told me it was the style coming out of Paris this year. He told me that right before he promised me the cover of Vogue if I blew him. Have you seen this month’s cover? Am I on it?”

T. E. D. Laroux, CEO of Giggle Girl – “Summer will be very, very hot for just about everyone so this summer plan on keeping things simple – nothing. Don’t wear anything. It’s going to be so fucking hot just sit inside and don’t do anything, don’t wear anything and for the love of god, don’t go outside.”

Robin Tobin, lead designer for Abercrombie and Fitch – “The biggest trend that we’re seeing is crotchless everything. Crotchless used to be reserved for only panties but now some daring designers are taking it to a whole new level. Crotchless jeans, crotchless pajamas, crotchless capris, crotchless jeggings. You name it, and it’ll be crotchless. Oddly enough, except for panties. No one really has those coming out this year.”

Parker Peters, Editor in Chief of Fashion Daily magazine – “Despite the fact that this is looking to be one of the hottest summers ok record, we’re seeing a lot of long sleeves in this year’s offering. Really hefty fabrics too. This one company I heard of is putting out a 100% wool parka as part of their swimwear collection. That is so daring that I can’t even fathom the level ooh genius behind it.”

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