New Stroller is 12 Feet Wide, Holds Five Children

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SAN DIEGO, CA – A new stroller capable of holding up to five children is about to hit the market and industry experts say it may just revolutionize the stroller industry.

The new stroller, The PalAround made by KidTech Industries, will be seven feet wide and six feet long.

“Those strollers that hold three children, those are great, but what if you have four children? What if you have five? How will those families get around? How, god damn it? Well now they don’t have to worry about that,” said KidTech CEO, Farrah Clinsby, during the product launch celebration. “This new stroller, the PalAround is big, yes, but size doesn’t matter when it comes to your family. Then again, if size mattered, we would never have gotten married. Right ladies? I kid, I kid.”

In addition to carrying up to five children, the PalAround has a number of other enhancements to help parents transport their families.

“This new stroller is designed to meet the needs of today’s family,” said KidTech Industries spokesman, Garret Yertle. “The PalAround can carry up to five children. That’s two more than the next largest stroller. But that’s not all. The PalAround will also carry children up to 16-year-old. Kids of all ages get tired and a family on the go has to be able to keep going. That’s what we are all about. Instead of having difficult conversations with their children, parents can now load the entire family into the PalAround and keep on keepin’ on. Oh, and because we sell this product here in America, the weight limit for each seat in the stroller is 300 pounds. That should be enough for the average American child.”

Several leading child product and services websites have called the PalAround “groundbreaking” due to its new features and the selfishness needed by the mother or father pushing it.

“The stroller industry has been pretty idle for a while now and it’s truly amazing to see this new product, the PalAround, come out and get everyone excited again,” said owner of MeandMyBabyFirst!, Sarah Bremly. “Personally, I can’t wait to get my hands on one. I can’t tell you the number of times my 10 year old has gotten jealous of my four year old wen she says she’s tired and doesn’t want to walk anymore. This stroller is going to make that situation go completely away. It’ll be great, because I won’t have to carry either of them again. And who cares that it litterally takes up the width of an entire street. People know that I have kids and I’ve got places to go, they’ll wait for me to go. I’m taking it on a Grand canyon Trail next month!”

The parent’s lucky enough to use the PalAround prior to its release have posted rave reviews on the company’s website.

“This stroller has done changed my life. I are so hapy (sic) that I can has it. But I wish it waz (sic) blue so 1 star,” reads one review.

To further help families that purchase the new PalAround stroller, KidTech Industries is also leading several efforts to increase sidewalk width and door widths at public locations.

“Yes this stroller is technically too large to fit in almost any door but we are in the process of lobbying congress to have the minimum size of door increased so parents can easily take the PalAround with them everywhere,” said Yertle.

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