Networks Release New Fall Schedule

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Every year about this time, hordes of people gather around the water coolers at work and plan their television viewing schedules for the upcoming seasons. But this year, all the networks have delivered gigantic payloads. With so many shows to choose from, we here at The Scoop have decided to let you in on our picks for the new season. So be sure to memorize these shows and plan your future them.

What Up, Beach? – UPN Monday, 8 p.m.
Nell Carter makes her triumphant return to television with another faded, forgotten but returning star, Jimmy Walker. All we can say is Dy-no-mite! Walker play an angry unemployed “sanitation worker,” named Tyhamone, who’s angry at “The Man” for given his job to some no good robot. With no job, he looses everything he has and is forced to move in with his mother (Carter) who lives in Atlanta. With nothing else to do, Tyhamone begins to spend more and more time at the beach were he gets into all sorts of crazy situations.

Baa, De Gah Ur – ABC Tuesday, 7:00 p.m.
Another famous face returns to the small screen as that retarded guy who played Corky from Life Goes On teams up with Heather Locklear in an action packed detective series. The pilot, which has already aired, was well received by critics across the nation with a unique blend of action, comedy and even the occasional romance. That retarded guy who was Corky from Life Goes On plays Mike, a fast food manager by day, and a hard as nails private dick by night. When he is forced to take on a partner, (Locklear) things get interesting. Billed as Moonlighting for the new millennium and with a retard, this is a show not to be missed.

Love That Box – NBC Thursday, 7:30 p.m.
Since Fraiser just isn’t cutting it, and Friends is loosing that special something, NBC turns to a real winner in the form of Ellen DeGeneres. DeGeneres plays Terry, a book smart street lesbian who befriends a young, beautiful, nubile teenage girl named Toni. Together, the two help each other in ways neither one ever thought possible! Things get sticky though, when Toni meets that special someone. What will become of this friendship, the only way to find out is to tune in!

That 20s Show – FOX, Thursday, 8:30 p.m.
Following the success of That 70’s Show , Fox returns to a proven formula yet again with the trials and tribulations of teens in the roaring 20s. Viewers will grow with the cast as they find out if Margret will buy that new fangled swimsuit, that shows off her rather shapely knees? Is Willheim ever gonna get his shot at “getting back at them gosh darned Germans?” The answers to these questions will all be answered in time, but only if you watch.

Finally, here’s The Scoop’s coveted “Pick of the Year.”

Touched By a Distant Relative – CBS Sunday, 8 p.m.
Can’t get enough thinly veiled Christian right programming? Well, your in luck. CBS is making a strong statement with its new show Touched By a Distant Relative . This heartwarming show is sure to reach everyone’s heart as Brian Dennahe stars as Uncle Vern. Vern is a newly reformed child molester let out of prison 20 years early for good behavior. With nowhere to turn he head to his only living relatives. Once there he is pleased to find that his Brother and wife have 5 beautiful and young children. The season will follow Vern’s struggle to fit into society and the children’s struggle to get away from Vern.

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