NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
I am writing about tigers!— b elizabeth bell (@brandonelizabet) June 30, 2012
According to a tweet from @brothersbell, there is a buss full of ugly people somewhere in Bay Lake, FL.
This bus is full of ugly people.— Brothers Bell (@brothersbell) May 17, 2012
@timnelsonPDX has reported, that the San Francisco International Airport is “a shitty airport.”
SFO is kind of a shitty airport.— Spooky Radio Man (@timnelsonPDX) May 1, 2018
Here are a couple tweets from some other people that should now be considered news.
Freeway doesn't look too bad— tiffanyllopo (@tiffanyllopo) October 15, 2016
Everytime I fart I get asymptotically closer to pooping my pants— leftoverenchies (@leftoverenchies) April 12, 2013
that's what she said!— CaptainBaffo (@CaptainBaffo) April 1, 2011
The Scoop News has been unable to verify the accuracy of these tweets due to laziness.