MEMPHIS, TN – Eric Williams, 17, was rushed to Rose Medical Center late Thursday afternoon after suffering an apparent overdose. Initial reports and tests show Williams had overdosed on pornography and masturbation. His bodily fluid levels were critically low and he was suffering from extreme exhaustion.
Williams’s parents had left for a cruise to the Bahamas on the previous Tuesday, leaving Williams alone to watch the house. When friends found him Thursday, Williams was unconscious in front of his computer with pornographic magazines spread throughout the room and 2 empty lotion bottles on the ground.
“We talked to him the night before and we were all ‘spose to go to the mall and he needed a ride,” said William’s friend, Stevie Den. “When we called him he sounded really tired and kinda sounded like he wasn’t sure he wanted to go. We figured he was just being a pussy, so the next morning we went to pick him up anyways. But when we got there no one answered but his door was unlocked. We were like ‘hell yeah! We can score some free beer’ but instead of booze we found (Williams) in the living room. It was sick, man, and the smell was horrible. I don’t think he got up from that spot since his parents left. Parts of him were actually stuck to the carpet. It was just fucking nasty. And man, if he would have told us he was that desperate we would have called Carrie, she probably would’ve give him a hand job at least.”
According to his friends, Williams had never given any sign that he had a masturbation problem.
“As far as we knew he was just a normal kid but now we find out he is all sorts of fucked up. I just hope this is like a wake up call for him you know? He needs to get that monkey off his back… or at least stop spanking it,” said Den.
In addition to low fluid levels, Williams also suffered 3rd degree burns over much of the penis, possibly caused by constant friction, and the right arm muscles were torn in several places. Doctors are estimating that Williams had been unconscious for about 3 hours before his friends found him.
Williams is currently in stable condition at the hospital and in good spirits while his doctors are optimistic about his recovery.
“When he was brought to us we were all pretty much freaked out,” Said Dr. Richard Smalls. “I’ve been in medicine a long ass time and I’ve never seen a kid almost jerk himself to death. Now I have seen a guy who tried to fuck a pencil sharpener. Boy was that a messy one. Think about that for a second. What the fuck was that guy thinking and how the hell did he get his penis in that small of an opening? This kid though, I mean to get to the level he was at when his buddies found him, he would have had to masturbate 2 times every hour for 3 days straight. He’s a lucky kid. Masturbating isn’t something to be taken lightly… medically speaking.”
Williams parents have yet to make an official statement, but are said to be “very disturbed and very disgusted.”