HENDERSON, NV – Local Man, Gavin Crusher, forgot to run the dishwasher probably because of a Pokémon videogame.
“Yeah, I forgot to run the dishwasher. Oh well,” said Gavin Crusher. “I might run it later but… I…”
Gavin Crusher’s wife, Rachel Crusher, asked him to run the dishwasher so there would be clean dishes available for the evening’s dinner.
“Yeah… um…” said Gavin Crusher. “Fuckin’ Snorlax man! Ugh. Ok… um, (Rachel) mentioned something as she left about the dishwasher, and I know it’s full and should be run but… mother fucker! Why can’t I catch that little fucker? Um… hold on… I have been trying to track down this shiny Snorlax for like two months. Now I’ve finally found him, and that fat fuck won’t stay in the ball.”
While Gavin Crusher has not confirmed that he forgot to run the dishwasher because of his Pokémon videogame, Rachel says the chances of that are “high.”
“There is one fact and one speculation,” said Rachel Crusher. “The dishwasher wasn’t run. That’s a fact. It wasn’t run because (Gavin Crusher) was sitting on his ass playing that dumb Pokémon game, that’s speculation. Speculation that is almost certainly true. Look at him right now. Look. He’s sitting there right now playing that dumb game. Hey, I’m talking about you, you fat turd! See! He’s not paying attention to anything except that game. Sometimes I wish he was more interested in my vagina then he is about a stupid Pikachu.”
Gavin Crusher has promised his wife that he will run the dishwasher next time.
“I… damn it!” said Gavin Crusher. “It’s a fucking Gigaton Ball! How the fuck do you keep escaping? You’re going to make me defeat you, aren’t you? Then I’m going to have to reload my last save and do this shit all over again. Fuck you Snorlax.”