WILMINGTON, DE – In an effort to help the economy, prostitutes all over the United States have revealed their own stimulus package. The package, which includes free oral sex with every transaction, is expected to pump over $600 million into local economies.
“We felt that this was a prudent jecture in our equitble way of life, if’n you can feel where I’m pontificating from,” said pimp Mr. Goldtooth. “If I tells a bitch to suck that dick for free, some dude will want some more. That’s when we can chargify that dude even more for the next one. It be a vicimus circus, but it’s one that needs to be done in these here dark times. You dig?”
According to reports, the stimulus package was decided on at the yearly National Pimps Conference, which was held in late March.
“It was decided upon that we must do everything in our power to persevere this here wondermous country that we live in,” Mr. Goldtooth said. “If that means a bitch gives away something for free, only to charge triplicate for the next round. So be it.”