CINCINNATI, OH – A Twitter outage has prevented local teen Dakota Lundstrom from communicating with her friends about her love of waffles.
“I’ve been trying to update Twitter for like 10 minutes and it keeps telling me the server is down,” said Lundstrom. “I’m sitting here having these really awesome waffles and no one knows about it. And I know for a fact my BFF Taryn would tweet back something cute. But stupid Twitter is down so I guess I’ll just eat these waffles alone… with my family.”
The service outage at Twitter is expected to last only 15 minutes but in that time Twitter executives expect 923,041 people to be unable to communicate.
“People will likely just stare at their phones until the service comes back online,” said Twitter Creative Director Biz Stone. “I just hope people aren’t doing something important, like driving, while the server is down. They’ll just freeze, not knowing what to do, and if they are driving they might go off the road and/or kill someone.”