Anchorage, AK – For the third straight year, former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has asked Santa Clause for a resurrection of her relevance as her Christmas gift.
“All I want is for people to remember who I am and want to listen to what I have to say again, don’tcha know,” said Palin. “Last year Santa didn’t get me a gosh darn thing but I’m hopin’ that this year he and Jesus don’t forget about me! Because I really, really, really, really want people to listen to me and call me and think that I am of some use to this country.”
When asked for comment, Santa Clause released a statement stating simply “Sarah Pali-who-da-what-now? Never heard of her.”