RENO, NV – A presentation about water conservation was delivered awkwardly to local business owners.
The intent of the presentation was to convince local business owners to reduce water consumption but those in attendance were unable to concentrate on the presentation due to “a mess of sweating, farting, silence and mumbling.”
The presentation, which lasted 15 minutes, was delivered by ConServeH20 member Joan Anderson who admitted that the only time she has delivered a presentation it was to her cats.
“I’m not sure what the hell that lady was trying to say but the only thing I took away from the presentation was that she should maybe not ever stand in front of people again,” said Rhonda Jean Bellefonte-Shcreber. “(Anderson) started off pacing back and forth, mumbling something about how we should all use water because of cats and because of potatoes, then she stood there and stared at us for 10 minutes with her mouth open and drool slowly dripping from her lip. After that she farted which I guess woke her up a bit and then she showed a picture of a cat and a bottle of water. She closed by wiping the sweat from her face using the index cards she had in her hand which ended up just smearing purple ink all over her face. But it really doesn’t matter because I’m American and I will use as much god damned water as I want!”