Local Man Unable to Help Girlfriend Enjoy Jazz

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SEATTLE, WA – After months of trying, local Jazz enthusiast Dereck Shoemaker has been unable to convince his girlfriend that listening to jazz music is enjoyable.

“I don’t know what else to do. I’ve literally tried everything. Literally,” said Shoemaker. “I’ve played her the accessible stuff like Miles Davis and I’ve tried the real far-out stuff like Song X but nothing is sticking and it’s a bummer man. I don’t know what else to do. She has to understand that this music that I like is great.”

Shoemaker’s girlfriend says she has tried to like jazz but she has not been able to enjoy listening to it.

“I’ve been honest with (Shoemaker) but I just don’t like jazz,” said Shoemaker’s girlfriend. “Music is a deeply personal thing and not everyone can or even should like everything that’s out there. But I gave it a shot. Several shots in fact and I’d just rather listen to something else. Of course I won’t stop him from playing it. That would be fucked up. Oh, and for the record, since you didn’t ask – my name is Henrietta Cortez. I’m not sure if this is one of those publications like the Times that only refers to women by their association to men.”

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