Published February 2017
WASHINGTON, DC – One of Donald Trump’s first actions as President of the United States was sign an Executive Order reducing the total number of words in the English language to 150.
“Trump is a dumb, dumb person and as such he does not know very many words,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.
Published May 2010
GLENDALE, AZ – The state legislature of Arizona has authorized opening several camps where officials will be able to distinguish which Hispanic-looking people are here illegally.
Published January 2010
WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
Published January 2009
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – An eight-year-old girl has been arrested and charged with criminal mischief after presiding over the marriage of a male doll, Jonas, and a small, stuffed unicorn she named Beebee.
The girl, Cassie Weinrich, held the ceremony last month in her bedroom. While no other humans attended the wedding, authorities were called when Weinrich introduced the recently married couple to her elementary school teacher.
Published September 2008
EVANSVILLE, IN – Online friends of Jason Delley notified local police this week after Delley failed to show up for a second consecutive World of Warcraft gaming session. Delley, who was listed as a missing person for over 36 hours, eventually resurfaced and informed his friends and family that he had actually been with his girlfriend.
Published April 2008
LOS ANGELES, CA – An animal rights group has begun protesting outside of Warner Brothers Studios demanding the immediate stop of all animal cruelty in its productions, including the popular Looney Tunes cartoons.
Published March 2008
WASHINGTON, DC – Several of the nation’s most recognizable superheroes, including Superman, Batman, The Hulk and Captain America, have been called before a congressional panel investigating the use of steroids and human growth hormone in the superhero community.
Steroids allegations against the superhero community came to light last year after Robin, Batman’s protégé, was arrested after allegedly trying to buy illegal steroids.
Published October 2007
WASHINGTON, DC – Facing stiff competition from Democrats and declining support, many Republican candidates have begun restructuring their platforms and in some cases, straying from conservative support, if only slightly. The biggest change comes in the form of several Republican Presidential candidates now supporting abortion – but only for Hispanics.
Published August 2007
NEW YORK, NY – In hopes of capitalizing on a new and rapidly growing market, NBC Television has announced plans to combine one of its most popular shows, “To Catch a Predator,” with a reality competition format to create “the greatest reality show of all time.”
Published June 2007
WASHINTON, D.C. – In a controversial ruling, the United States Supreme Court eased legislation to allow companies more freedom when advertising products and services including allowing for statements that are not proven true.