U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.

Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.


A fight erupted between cardboard cutouts of fans when one cutout accidentally fell on to another.

Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.


During the Presidential Inauguration, Hillary Clinton revealed she had been masquerading as Joe Biden for years.

Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary Clinton

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.


Pornhub will soon only feature videos of interracial couples on the popular pornography website.

To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site

NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.


President Trump has been hiding from his staff and White House security since losing the Presidential election last month.

Trump Hiding from Staff in White House

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.


God Releases Statement about Coronavirus


None of the attendees have admitting to generating the fart heard during a recent video conference.

Attendees Deny Farting During Video Conference

RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.


Newspaper's 800th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype

PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 800th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.


Star Wars Fans Upset New Film Will Include Color Turquoise

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.


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