Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.


A fight erupted between cardboard cutouts of fans when one cutout accidentally fell on to another.

Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.


Pfizer has developed a new Valentine's Day double-sided syringe for the COVID-19 vaccine.

Pfizer Releases Double-sided Valentine's Day COVID Vaccine

NEW YORK, NY – In advance of Valentine’s Day, Pfizer has released a new double-sided COVID-19 vaccination needle that will allow a couple to vaccinate each other at the same time.


Bill Gates says people should focus on the good aspects of being implanted with a microchip rather than worrying about the presence of a microchip.

Gates Suggests People Focus on Positive Impacts to Possible Microchips in COVID Vaccines

MILWAUKEE, WI – Bill Gates addressed the conspiracy theories about the presence of microchips in COVID-19 vaccines by saying people are missing the positive aspects of the hypothetical implanted microchips.


A The Rock from the future appeared in Times Square to warn the people of earth about the horrors of the year 2020.

Future Version of The Rock Appears to Warn World of 2020

NEW YORK, NY – A time-traveling The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, appeared in Times Square earlier this week to warn the world about the year 2020.


Santa Claus is currently receiving a controversial COVID-19 treatment that contains, among other ethically sensitive things, 450 children's souls.

Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children

NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.


Beth Sinclair: COVID-19 Thanksgiving Tips

Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!


Experts Offer Tips to Keep School Kids Covid-19 Free

ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.


New police uniforms approved by the National Police Union will be white robes and include a new masked, pointed helmet.

National Police Union Unveils New White Robe Uniforms for Police Officers

WASHINGTON, D.C. –The National Police Union has approved new white, robe-like police uniforms that will demonstrate a “commitment to peace and harmony”.


Nike Releases New Air Pump Face Mask

PORTLAND, OR – As several states now require people to wear masks to slow the spread of COVID-19, Nike is set to release a new Nike Air Face Mask that will utilize air pump technology to contour the mask to the wearer’s face.


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