Dawn Releases New Dish Soap for MenPublished January 2023
CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.
Buffalo Wild Wings to Replace All Chairs with ToiletsPublished September 2022
COLUMBUS, OH – The restaurant and sports bar chain Buffalo Wild Wings will be making a major change to all existing locations over the next six months, replacing all chairs and barstools with continuous flow toilets.
Lotto Winner Planning to Buy PoliticianPublished August 2022
TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.
FDA Adds New “Fewd” Category for Taco Bell Menu ItemsPublished April 2022
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.
Brooks Brothers Releases New Work From Home LinePublished February 2022
NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.
KFC Unveils New Drink Cup Made from ChickenPublished October 2019
LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.
Trump Wants to Meet General Tso about ChickenPublished May 2017
“I told China, let me talk to this General Tso guy. I want to talk to him about his chicken. It’s very good chicken and I’d like to talk to him. That’s what I told China. I’m very good at telling China things,” said Trump.
Eating Cute Animals Diet Craze Sweeping NationPublished June 2016
LOS ANGELES, CA – The newest food craze to sweep the Southern California coast is called cutenism which limits diets to eating only animals which are generally regarded as cute.
“Here in SoCal we are cutting edge. We lead the country in new and exciting dietary restrictions,” said nutritionist Gail Lowell. “The gluten-free diet is so two years ago. People want a new dietary restriction that they can use as an excuse.”
Local Man Still Showing Off His SegwayPublished January 2016
LONG BEACH, CA – Despite a steep decline in sales and popularity, local man Kenny Drew sill shows off his Segway at every opportunity.
Gypsy Responsible for Trump’s Sucsess FoundPublished February 2016
SPRINGFIELD, KY – The gypsy behind Donald Trumps continued political success has been located and captured by Federal agents.
“We can proudly say that this nightmare that we’ve been living the last several months is almost at an end,” said FBI Special Agent, Carmine Caruso.