Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.


To save money and food, restaurants will soon begin serving meals to children that have already been half eaten.

Restaurants to Server Half Eaten Meals to Children

LOS ANGELES, CA – Beginning this month, several prominent restaurant chains will begin serving children meals that come half-eaten.


Santa Claus is currently receiving a controversial COVID-19 treatment that contains, among other ethically sensitive things, 450 children's souls.

Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children

NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.


Lisa Huller is considering several different excuses for not voting for Biden.

White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden

LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.


Experts Offer Tips to Keep School Kids Covid-19 Free

ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.


Trump Says He is Close to Finishing Sudoku Puzzle

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.


Physicians Giving Surgeries Happier Sounding Names

WASHINGTON, DC – Several phsyicians have proposed a sweeping review of all medical procedure names with the possibility of renaming those procedures to “something a little happier.”


Decorating For Christmas: Tips from the Professionals

NEW YORK, NY – Decorating for the holidays has become competitive in many neighborhoods across the country regardless of one’s religion.


Peppers the dog was reportedly unimpressed with its Christmas present, angering Pepper's family.

Family Upset Dog Doesn’t Like Christmas Present

GOLDEN, CO – The Hernandez family dog, Peppers, was unimpressed with its Christmas present this year, angering the family.


Lyft Driver Almost Done with Documentary Film

PORTLAND, OR -Lyft driver, John Gonzalez, says he is close to finishing his documentary.


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