Santa Claus is currently receiving a controversial COVID-19 treatment that contains, among other ethically sensitive things, 450 children's souls.

Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children

NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.


Melania and her husband maintain physical distance as recommended by Melania's doctors.

Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.


Jordan Skjik has spent the last several hours trying to explain to his friend why vinyl records sound better than streaming music.

Local Man Struggling to Explain Why Vinyl Records are Better Than Digital Music

OMAHA, NB – A local man has spent the last several hours trying, with limited success, to explain to his friend why listening to music on a vinyl record is better than streaming online.


Vice President Mike Pence's battery died and he was left powerless after White House Staff forgot to plug him in to a power source before a long weekend.

White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.


The Stevenson family photo has been ruined by an ugly baby.

Family Photo Ruined by Ugly Baby

DALLAS, TX – The Stevenson family Christmas photo was ruined by the presence of an ugly baby.


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Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.


New Book Reveals "Real" Rudolph the Reindeer

NORTH POLE – Authors of a new book about Rudolph the “red-nosed reindeer” promise to change the way the Christmas icon is remembered.


Nice Gift at White Elephant Exchange Ruins Party

MEMPHIS, TN – An office Christmas party was ruined when an employee brought an expensive bottle of wine to a white elephant gift exchange.


Trump Approves New War on Christmas Monument

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has approved the commission and construction of a new national monument to honor the lives lost in the War on Christmas.


Tinsel Pulled from White House after Trump Caught Eating It

WASHINGTON, DC – White House staff has removed all tinsel from White House Christmas decorations after President Donald Trump was seen pulling Tinsel off a Christmas tree and eating it.


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