U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


Andre Flutroe is becoming more and more concerned by thoughts of purchasing flip-flops.

Local Man Concerned by Thoughts of Purchasing Flip-Flops

CHICAGO, IL – Local software developer Andre Flutroe, 29, says he has become concerned about his increasing desire to purchase a pair of flip-flops sandals.


Scientists believe climate change may be caused by a single thermostat set to a very hot temperature.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.


To save money and food, restaurants will soon begin serving meals to children that have already been half eaten.

Restaurants to Server Half Eaten Meals to Children

LOS ANGELES, CA – Beginning this month, several prominent restaurant chains will begin serving children meals that come half-eaten.


Texas has passed a new law requiring all Texas residents to generate their own power.

Texas to Begin Requiring Residents to Generate Their Own Power

DALLAS, TX – After recent winter storms almost completely destroyed Texas’ power grid, the Texas state government has passed a law requiring all residents to generate their own power.


Pfizer has developed a new Valentine's Day double-sided syringe for the COVID-19 vaccine.

Pfizer Releases Double-sided Valentine's Day COVID Vaccine

NEW YORK, NY – In advance of Valentine’s Day, Pfizer has released a new double-sided COVID-19 vaccination needle that will allow a couple to vaccinate each other at the same time.


Pornhub will soon only feature videos of interracial couples on the popular pornography website.

To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site

NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.


President Elect Joe Biden has nominated Post Malone as the newly created Secretary of Yeet.

Biden Nominates Post Malone to New Cabinet Position Secretary of Yeet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Elect Joe Biden has announced the nomination of Post Malone to a new cabinet position of Secretary of Yeet.


A The Rock from the future appeared in Times Square to warn the people of earth about the horrors of the year 2020.

Future Version of The Rock Appears to Warn World of 2020

NEW YORK, NY – A time-traveling The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, appeared in Times Square earlier this week to warn the world about the year 2020.


President Trump has been hiding from his staff and White House security since losing the Presidential election last month.

Trump Hiding from Staff in White House

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.


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