Teen Jordan Mustaker says he will stay in the hotel room alone while the rest of his family goes to the pool.

Teen Wants to Stay in Hotel Room Alone While Family Swims

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – A teenager on vacation with his family announced that he will just stay in the room, alone, while the rest of the family goes to a hotel pool.


After Long Winter, Dow Jones Plans to Get High

MANCHESTER, NH –William “Dow” Jones announced that he is coming out of a month’s long depression and plans to “get really, really high” soon.


California Institutes New Rules for Water Use

SACREMENTO, CA – As the drought continues, the state government of California has issued new laws and policies to conserve water and reduce strain on rivers and aquifers.


Niche Dating Sites Growing, Becoming More Popular

OAKLAND, CA – In response to the growing number of niche dating websites, two new sites have started the debate of how specific is too specific.


Pool Guy, Lonely Housewife Encounter Doesn’t End in Sex

LOS ANGELES, CA– A recent encounter between a lonely housewife and pool guy ended awkwardly with very little sexual tension and no intercourse.


New Report Concludes Most of the Irish Population Are Alcoholic

BOSTON, MA – A recent sociological study out of the Harvard University has concluded that 83% percent of Irish people are alcoholics.


Image of Jesus Christ Seen in Painting of Jesus Christ

SANTA FE, NM – Christians are flocking to Santa Fe, to see what some are saying is the image of Jesus Christ that has appeared in a painting of Jesus Christ.


Mother Nature Sued To Stop High Temperatures

PHOENIX, AZ – With the recent rash of deaths of homeless and infirm peoples due to heat throughout the Southwest, some people are taking to the streets and demanding that Mother Nature end the heat wave.


Beth Sinclair: This Year's Hot Spring Break Tips, Tricks

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hey kiddies, Beth here and oh my, how the months have been coming quickly as of late. Just like me! I’m serious, if someone even touches me I pop like a Champaign bottle. But enough about my little foibles. It seems like just last month that I was freezing my tits off, trying to find a special someone to warm me up – inside and out. But now the snows have thawed and my young nubile mind has turned to other, more serious thoughts.


Scoop's Sexiest Man of 2001: Orrin Hatch

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – This month The Scoop News released its annual Hottest Guy of the Year award and let me be the first to say that I, for one, am not surprised at all. And I shouldn’t be surprised because I’m the one who came up with this crazy thing, but that’s beside the point. Anyways, who is this years top Stud? Well, none other than Senator Orrin Hatch. Yes, that’s right. That crazy little Republican from Utah has won many hearts this year and the least of which is this humble reporter’s.


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